I love to eat.

This blog (if I continue updating it despite my proven habit of starting creative endeavors and never finishing them) is going to mainly be about food. Why? Because food is my number one hobby. No lie. Is that sad? Probably. I get excited when the weekend approaches not because of all the free time I'll have to spend with family and friends, but because I can make lots of wonderful dishes that I don't have time to make during the week. Lately, weekend cooking almost always involves cookies and grilling. Grilling b/c it's summer and it's what you're supposed to do (i.e. if we say we're bbqing on Memorial Day weekend it's almost like we actually have plans of some sort) and baking cookies b/c I recently decided that a) part of being a good housewife is being able to make tasty desserts and b) i just really really like to eat fattening things made primarily with butter and sugar.

There was a brief, very brief period of time when I thought I maybe had a shot at writing about cooking like I have some authority on the subject and being successful at it. Despite the fact that I didn't even know how Kraft macaroni and cheese got from a pile of pasta with some powdered stuff on top to a gooey, creamy, disgustingly delicious easy dinner up until about 3 years ago when I spontaneously decided that I was going to teach myself how to cook.

To give you some background on just how desolate my cooking background is, i can some up all of the dinners I had for most of my life as consisting of the following: some kind of starch (instant mashed potatoes or minute rice), some kind of frozen pre-prepared meat (breaded chicken cutlets, fish sticks, a marinated pork tenderloin once every blue moon) and a vegetable (frozen peas, corn, green beans, or a mixture of all three). On Sunday nights, my dad would make pasta, which was our "fancy" meal, consisting of usually penne, jarred vodka or marinara sauce, frozen breaded chicken, and the kind of parmesan cheese that comes in a green cardboard container. To my parents' credit, I don't remember ever complaining or not eating what was set in front of me.
Three years ago, I was in a "dorm" room in a castle in The Netherlands, where they had a small "cafeteria" where we were fed variations of "mystery meat" for 5 months. While other students were out enjoying their free vacation in Europe, I was on my laptop, looking up recipes that I wanted to make as soon as I got home. All I could think about was how much I wanted to cook something delicious. I started with the basics, like real macaroni and cheese without the powdered stuff, chicken pot pie with real puff pastry, and lasagna that didn't come frozen in an aluminum bake-it-and-throw-it-away-tray. That summer, at age 20, was when I took my first trip to a grocery store to buy something other than milk and bananas (my parents were big Costco's and BJ's shoppers).

Over the past few years I have made everything from fish tacos to lamb curries to pad thai to a hazelnut chocolate torte to homemade sauces and more. They haven't all been successes, but I can't think of anything that was inedible.

I can't imagine being on a diet. I've come too far to do silly things like substitute splenda for sugar in muffin recipes. I'd rather be a little pleasantly plump that give up one of the few things in life that makes me very happy. Besides, there are other ways to diet. Everything in moderation is supposed to work, right?

I wrote up a little something to show y'all (hi Mika) my attempt at having an authority on cooking. If anyone actually reads this and tries the recipes, I'd love to hear comments.

Presto Pesto!

Easy Pesto Pasta Salad
Serves 4-6

1 pound small-cut pasta, such as elbows
Salt
1 (14-ounce) can, chick peas, drained
Pepper
½ teaspoon dry thyme
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 to 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
½ cup pesto (recipe follows)
1 pint cherry tomatoes
¾ cup parmesan cheese, grated, plus more to pass at table
Handful toasted pine nuts

Boil water for pasta, salt it, and cook pasta to al dente. Drain, reserving 1 cup of pasta water.

In a food processor, coarsely grind chick peas with salt, pepper, and thyme to a chunky paste.

Meanwhile, sauté garlic and red pepper flakes in olive oil over medium heat. Add pureéd chick peas to the pan and sauté for three minutes.

Mix pesto with pasta. Add chick pea mixture, parmesan cheese, halved cherry tomatoes, and pine nuts. Mix in pasta water to desired consistency. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Can be served hot or cold.


Grilled Salmon with Pesto
Serves 4

4 salmon fillets
Salt and pepper
Olive oil
½ cup pine nuts, toasted
Lemon juice
Pesto
Tomato

Season salmon fillets generously with salt and pepper. Brush the grilling rack with olive oil to keep the fish from sticking. Grill for 5 to 6 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish. Turn carefully with a wide spatula and grill for another 5 to 6 minutes. Transfer fish to a plate.

Squeeze the lemon juice over the fish as soon as you take it off the grill. Spread a thick layer of pesto over the fish, about a tablespoon per fillet, and top with a slice of tomato. Sprinkle with the pine nuts and serve.

All About Pesto

Homemade pesto beats any store-brand pesto I’ve ever had, hands down. Not only is the flavor of homemade fresher and bolder, but it looks a lot prettier when you can actually see the flecks from the bright green herbs running through the sauce. It’s also so ridiculously easy to make that once you’ve made your own you’ll be kicking yourself for ever buying its over-priced grocery shelf impersonator.
The following includes a basic pesto recipe that can easily be modified to produce many mouthwatering varieties, followed by some examples. There are four basic ingredients in most pestos: fresh herbs, parmesan cheese, nuts (pine nuts or walnuts always work wonderfully), garlic and extra-virgin olive oil. It’s worth it to splurge on the extra-virgin olive oil when making pesto and other uncooked sauces since it delivers a brighter, deeper flavor than regular olive oil. If you’re serving the pesto over pasta, about 1 cup, with some pasta water added to liquefy the sauce a bit, will coat a pound of pasta. The most important part of cooking on the go is being prepared, so I usually double the recipe (or triple if you’ve got hungry kids or grandkids) and whatever I don’t use I freeze in plastic storage bags or an ice tray, if I’ve got an empty one lying around. When you’re ready to use it, just defrost it a few hours ahead of time, stir in the cheese, and you’re good to go.

Basic Basil Pesto
1 cup basil (appox 20 leaves)
¼ cup pine nuts
2 cloves garlic
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

Combine basil, pine nuts and garlic in a food processor and pulse. Stream in the extra-virgin olive oil until a thick sauce forms, then stir in parmesan cheese by hand. Season to taste with salt and pepper.


Tarragon-Basil Pesto (recipe from Food Network)
A tasty pesto with a minty kick

1 cup basil (appox 20 leaves)
½ cup tarragon leaves
¼ cup pine nuts
2 cloves garlic
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Zest of one lemon
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

Combine basil, tarragon, pine nuts, garlic, and lemon zest in a food processor and pulse. Stream in the extra-virgin olive oil until a thick sauce forms, then stir in parmesan cheese by hand. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Pistachio-Parsley Pesto

1 cup parsley
¼ cup pistachios, shelled
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic
½ cup grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

Combine parsley, pistachios and garlic in a food processor and pulse. Stream in the extra-virgin olive oil until a thick sauce forms, then stir in parmesan cheese by hand. Season to taste with salt and pepper.


Sun-dried Tomato Pesto (recipe adapted from Food Network)
1 (8.5-ounce) jar sun-dried tomatoes packed in olive oil
2 garlic cloves
1 cup fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Salt and pepper

Combine sun-dried tomatoes (with their olive oil), garlic and basil in a food processor and pulse. Stir in parmesan cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

This picture is a good example of the old and the new -- pasta with the Tarragon-Basil Pesto (recipe above), but since I made this for my parents at their house, there's a nice hunk of frozen garlic bread on the side:

Dexter needs a haircut...again

John thinks it's sad that I have trouble remembering that Dexter is a D-O-G and not a B-A-B-Y, but personally I see so many similarities between the adorable puppycat and I that I think it's understandable that I get confused sometimes. Here are just a few of the glaring similarities:

-We both have hair that grows a mile a minute. (Dexter is a soft-coated Cairn Terrier, with hair, not fur.)
-We both really, really like to eat. Treats, preferably. And salt & vinegar chips, which I just discovered.
-We both like to sleep in odd positions, sometimes on our backs, sometimes pressed up against something, sometimes falling off of things. Here's an example of one of Dexter's favorite hardcore napping positions:

While we're on the subject of sleep, we both sometimes make noises in our sleep, although from what I can gather from John's observations Dexter is much noisier than I am, and it sounds like he's having a lot more fun. I also like being cool when I sleep, and we assume Dexter does as well, since his preferred sleeping spot is the bottom glass shelf of the desk in our living room.
-We both are itchy a lot. (I've been cursed with sensitive skin; Dexter currently has iron man-strength fleas.)
-We're both stubborn and protest when we're forced to do something we don't want to. Dexter will lie down in the middle of the driveway and get dragged back to the house like that b/c he doesn't want to go back inside. I tend to protest more subtly, usually with passive-aggressive behavior or "killing them with kindness," as they say.
-we both drink A LOT of water.
-We both have bangs.
-We both hate the vacuum.

Vacuuming is really the one "housewife-y" behavior I absolutely despise. I'll get down on my hands and knees to scrub the floor, but I'll avoid pushing a vacuum at all costs. John knows this and we have come to a mutual understanding that he will never have to make dinner and I will never have to touch a vacuum, except when I use it in a supplementary way to get the cobwebs out of corners and suck up spiders (but then don't ask me to empty the thing...I discovered the hard way that the act of being sucked up a tube at what must be a ridiculously fast speed does NOT necessarily kill the spider). I'll also occasionally vacuum the linoleum floors in the kitchen and bathroom with the hose part of the vacuum so that I can wash them afterwords, but that's only after I've asked John several times to please vacuum them and he fails to move fast enough for me to not get impatient and just do it myself so that I can get on with my cleaning. When I get in a cleaning mode, there's no stopping me. I have to clean anything and everything on MY schedule and if you get in my way I might just take a squirt at you with the 409. I do wonder if having a nice vacuum, like one of those Dysons with the tantalizing rotating ball effect, would change the way I feel about vacuuming. I guess that's why those vacuums were created in the first place; for people like me. But until the day John buys me a $300 Dyson for our fifth wedding anniversary because he's finally run out of other practical gifts to give me, I will absolutely refuse to push a clumsy, 25 lb. (just throwing a number out there) piece of crap vacuum around a cardboard-thin carpet while Dexter cowers in the corner with those eyes that say, "Mommy, make it stop!"

So, back to my puppycat and his haircut (why we call him a puppycat will be addressed in a later post...but if you want to draw your own conclusions, you're probably right.) About two months ago, we took him to a professional groomer and had to leave him there for several hours while he was shampooed (and conditioned? do they use conditioner on dogs?) blow-dried, clipped and styled. They even cut off the tiny bit of hair on his little wee wee (I didn't click the "adult content" button for this blog...so...you know...wee wee...which I'm sure made him feel like a little less of a prepubescent teenager) and when we picked him up he was traumatized and looked like a Westie. So we decided that we would groom Dexter at home. I wanted to just look for a different groomer, but John was feeling ambitious, so we went out and bought scissors and a nail clipper and shampoo. On a side note...since then (this was about a month ago) we have not once successfully been able to clip his nails ourselves. Anyway, one day we decided to groom Dexter in our backyard. Since he is impossible to keep still, it was a daunting task. I distracted him with a rawhide while John did most of the snipping (speaking of snipping...Dexter will be getting the big snip next week and I'm freaking out a bit already). I did, however, manage to get ahold of the scissors for a few minutes, and decided to test out my styling abilities on his back right leg. Here are the results:



I guess I got a little too into it. It's hard to tell from the pic, but I unevenly chopped almost ALL of the hair off of his leg. Luckily, as I said before, his hair grows really quickly, so now, his cute little stubby legs look normal again.

He's starting to look like a Yorkie lately, which means it's time for a haircut. John's plan is to take a scissors to him tomorrow in the yard, while I'm safely at work 30 miles away. My plan is to take him to a new groomer that a coworker recommended when he's all healed up from his snip snip next week.




John's random tidbit for the day: Hilary Clinton is looking more and more like the emperor from Star Wars.